"Stand behind the yellow line at all times"
How do I get on the train then?
"I will be walking through the train"
"Please do not put your feet on the seats"
Both rather pointless when the train is rammed full - most passengers are unable to get any part of their anatomy anywhere near a seat, and walking along the train would only be possible by running along the roof.
At Waterloo Main Line:
"Please stand back, this train is not scheduled to stop at this station"
It's going to make an awful mess of the concourse then.
On the train:
"You must have a ticket to travel on our trains"
Horse, stable, bolt.
On an all-stations service leaving Waterloo:
"We are scheduled to arrive at Guildford at xxxx".
As there are non-stop services to Guildford, only two people should be interested in what time the stopper gets to the end of the line - one of them is driving and the other is making the announcement.